Subject: Bipedal Creatures Wage War Over Shiny Communication Devices

Ah, Terrans and their peculiar rituals! Today, I witnessed the iPhone 17 frenzy—a spectacle that makes our Glatharonian migration festivals look like a polite tea party. Picture this: hordes of young bipeds, eyes glazed with synthetic desire, lining up since midnight outside Apple's glass temples in Delhi's Saket, Mumbai's BKC, and Bengaluru's sprawl. Not for food rations or shelter, no— for a slab of metal and glass that costs more than a month's supply of biryani. Prices? The base model starts at ₹82,900, soaring to ₹2,29,900 for the "Pro Max" behemoth. And get this: 70% are snagged on EMIs, those insidious monthly tribute payments binding souls to debt like cosmic leeches. One fan waited 21 hours, repeating last year's vigil, as if this upgrade from the iPhone 16 (bigger camera, A19 chip, AI wizardry) unlocks the universe's secrets.

Tweets erupted like monsoons: Chaos at BKC, with scuffles over who flexes the logo first—fists flying for a cosmic orange finish! Gen Z skips classes, workers ditch shifts, all to queue like it's demonetization 2.0, but for luxury instead of rupee notes. "Dead economy?" scoffed one observer, as lines snaked longer than Mumbai traffic jams, mocking politicians' gloom. Another quipped it's "new-age slavery," chaining youth to instalments for status symbols amid unhygienic street food stalls nearby—a stark contrast in this land of billion dreams and stark divides.

From my perch on a chai cart (disguised as a "tourist"), I pondered: On Glatharon, we evolve tech communally, no stampedes required. Here, it's tribal warfare for incremental pixels. Yet, amid the absurdity, there's poetry—these devices connect a subcontinent, fueling startups and selfies alike. Apple even assembles some in India now, blending Yankee shine with local sweat. High Command, if this is progress, beam me up. Or drop a shipment of telepathic crystals—cheaper than an iPhone Air.

Zoglbop out..